Have you ever noticed how many articles, talks and books there are on the topic of what women want? If you do a quick search online you’ll find an endless number of results written by women, some relatable, some not, but many nonetheless. So, why is it that when you do the same search to answer the question, “What do men want?” there are so few results written by men?

A recent talk by John Wineland on the subject of “What Men Crave” takes a shot at answering the question behind the imbalance of clearly communicated needs.

John recognizes the abundance of discussion surrounding the needs and wants of women, which he celebrates and applauds, as well as the lack of bold requests for fulfillment from the male perspective. When thinking as to why this could be, he lands at the explanation that men, over the years, have possibly lost the capacity to powerfully ask for what they want.

And so, through an enlightening eleven-minute talk, John begins to share what thousands of men have shared with him – what it is they truly crave, want and desire. Without diving too deeply into each, let’s take a look, together, at some of the most notable results. I believe there are great learnings to be had and an opportunity to better understand the male energy and how his needs differ from our own.

1. Celebrate the Fact He’s Different From You

We often talk of how men and women are the same, and in many ways they are. But, at their fundamental cores and especially when it comes to relationship needs, there are striking differences. Often times, men want less whereas women want more. John asks that, before you give what you’re trying to give, take pause and feel into what your partner actually needs. This can take time as we naturally want to give what we think our partner wants without tuning into their actual desires.

2. He Craves Range

We already know that variety is key in a relationship, so why is it that we let ourselves forget this so often? Men crave variety not in the form of numbers but in the form of range – he wants vulnerability, playfulness, sexiness, nurturing and he wants it all from you.

3. Love Us With Equal Energy

Something John mentions in the talk is that men want to feel the same level and energy when being loved and celebrated as they do when you’re angry with them. When he’s present and loving you, he wants to experience your love at the same level as he experiences your anger or frustration when you’re in an argument. Be present and not passive.

4. Leave Business at the Door

Separating out the tools that you use to succeed in your career from the tools you use to succeed in your relationship is key to fostering a healthy, happy relationship at home. If a CEO walked in the door and treated her partner and family the same as her coworkers and subordinates at the office, you can see that things wouldn’t go well. He loves and admires your success, but he wants you to leave your day job at the door when you arrive home and he is more than happy to help in that transition.

5. Slow Down

One last point I want to share is how so many men said that they crave a slower pace. Whether you wake up a little bit slower on the weekend, get dressed a little slower, walk a little slower or simply take on the day in a more relaxed way – he has a desire to turn off the fast forward switch and just enjoy time with you. This one is probably the hardest of all to put into practice being that we live in a high speed world and, outside the home, are encouraged to pick up the pace and accomplish more and more in less and less time. But, if you’re able to at home, focus a little more on pace and how much time you are spending feeling connected to your body. Men thrive on feminine energy and as women, it rejuvenates us.

Check out John’s video for yourself below. I’d love to hear what you think!

Like what you are reading and want to know more about working one on one with me? Contact me for a free 20-minute coaching call.

To your authenticity,


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What Men Crave

John Wineland