Congratulations! You’ve landed a first date. But, now what do you do? To set you up for success, let’s look at the top five things to avoid… as well as how to avoid them. Ready? Keep on reading.
- DON’T drink too much on a first date.
Getting tipsy or drunk can definitely be deal breakers. Of course a cocktail or two can help to break the ice and put you more at ease, especially after a long work day, but remember judgment is always different than when you are sober. Make sure you know your limits and for safety reasons, know your surroundings. A good rule of thumb is to drink half as much as you normally would – for example, if you normally have a cocktail before your meal and then a glass of wine with dinner, skip the cocktail and enjoy the 1 glass. If you end up dating long term, there will be plenty of dinners with a bottle of wine to share.
- DON’T wear something you don’t feel absolutely great in on a first date.
How much fun can it be if you are constantly adjusting a dress or belt that is too big, or too tight. You don’t want to think if you were to sit you may just burst open like the Hoover Dam! Take time to choose an outfit that you feel really confident in. This will not only exude your own personal style, but your confidence will shine through because you are far more comfortable. If you know where you are going than adjust accordingly – it never hurts to pack an extra jacket or shawl, especially in the summer months. No matter what you wear, if you feel authentically attractive in it, your date will as well.
- DON’T talk about yourself too much on a first date.
It’s true, one of the BEST ways to have someone pay complete attention to you is to ask them lots of questions about THEMSELVES. Seems opposite to what you may think, right? It’s amazing how well this can work as long as you don’t fire questions off as though you were in a job interview. We all know a date can raise the nerves and many of us express nervousness through babbling about ourselves. Check in with yourself and consciously take time to ask questions which can spark a flow on many further topics and even out the conversation. I know you are very interesting but you don’t want your date speaking of you later with the comment, “Wow, they seriously only talked about THEMSELVES all night!!!”
- DON’T check other people out on a first date.
Okay, there is NOTHING more of a turn-off than to be out on a date with someone and noticing them consistently and obviously checking out the girl next to you without an effort to do it discreetly! We know that beauty draws a man’s eye and he honestly can’t help it but guys, it’s in your best interest to try and do it discreetly. It’s not an ‘insecurity thing’, it’s a ‘respect for your date’ thing. She has gone to the effort to look nice and for those few hours you are together, focus on her beauty, not the rest of the room. Try to be completely present during the date and engage in conversation. If the date is going so badly that you can’t maintain any sort of focus, then maybe it is best to call it a night. Be classy and thoughtful rather than leaving a bad impression, regardless if you don’t plan on seeing them ever again. You just never know who is connected and who they may know. The fact is, there must have been something that attracted you to them in the first place to ask them out so remember that.
- DON’T talk about your ex multiple times on a first date.
For that matter, don’t go on and on about how many friends of the opposite sex you have. If a person constantly refers back to how many of their exes or opposite sex friends currently adore them, it is very clear sign of their insecurity. Know that the accepting of a date invitation already signals someone’s interest so you don’t need to point out the fact that you are funny, smart or beautiful. If you are any or all of those things, people will figure it out on their own. Show your confidence by letting them see a bit of modesty and you will appear that much more desirable.
Like what you are reading and want to know more about working one on one with me? Contact me for a free 20-minute coaching call.
To your authenticity,